WRITING

Below you can find all of my writing.

BOLTZMANN

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the one thinking, or if I’m just a flicker, a chance alignment of particles floating in a dark, endless void. The universe doesn’t care. It might have spat me out for a single thought, a single memory, before dissolving back into nothing. And yet I feel… I know. I have a name. I have fears. But maybe that’s just the trick the void played, giving a whisper of self-awareness to a random clump of matter. What if I blinked out tomorrow—or right now—and nobody would notice? Not even the stars.

DIGITIZED

Imagine, perhaps, something wherein you are strictly alone. A world where there is no one else, but instead the world is completely empty. It is but void. You maybe imagine what could be there, you imagine things that shouldn’t be there. And you imagine things that you want to be there so badly. It’d be like you are making up little things in your mind in order to fill the gaps, like you are a blind man trying to see the world before you. You try to reconcile with yourself all of the inputs that are the opposite of visual; everything you reconcile, then, is digital. Maybe then your body is digital, in the sense that that world where there is no one is what you might call a digital existence. Maybe if you do something wrong in that world you can think of it as a digital sin. Maybe when a door opens up for you it’s not a real door, but instead it is a digital door, one that gives you digital opportunity. Then everything there is digital as well.

ENTERPRISE

I’d call it an enterprise. A digitized world where you have the ability to do what you want. You could create and you could make the world look how you would want the world to look. You could create for eternity, you could create man in your own image. They would call you god and you would call them tiny. You would reign over them eternal and they would have to listen to your every command. What comes from your mouth is their dogma. And your voice is like the roaring wind, caught up in such fervor that it makes them fall to their knees. So then if you commit a sin in this world, is it really a digital sin, or is it instead just a transgression against some exterior god that has nothing to do with the world that you created within this digital realm? Is it a computer, or is it your own mind? Is it an illusion between digital and non-digital, visual and non-visual, blind and not-blind. What are you, really? You may look at yourself in the mirror and call yourself one thing, but in the end you are a completely separate thing that is alien to the former. Even more, are you a digital being yourself or a human being? Are you something that has been conjured by the night and a fleeting dream or instead your own existence? What are you?

EXISTENCE

So what do we then make of all of this? What do we make of this reality, that which we call our existence? Perhaps it is what we make it to be, as we make it with our hands and we act as though it is made of moldable clay. It is, perhaps, our reality that we bend with our minds, the visual and the digital, the separate and the un-separate, the real and the unreal. We separate these things and we keep the other things together. We keep separate our existence from our reality so that we can determine our thoughts and we can determine our outer thoughts. We can think of existence as a constant, as a determined constant that stays as it was and stays as it forever will be. But perhaps we can change that existence, to separate the definite from the indefinite for an undetermined amount of time. Then we stay distinct in these things, and we stay determined as we have the ability to slice clean our false existence from our real existence. So is this what we make of all of this, what we make of the reality that we are given? The reality that which we call our existence?